Praise all efforts
You knew I was going to say this one if you read the free report, “Conquering Bad Behavior without stress.” (If you don’t have it yet you can download it here:http://www.counselingformoms.com/docs/specificpraise.pdf) Once they have completed a task successfully, praise them, “Wow, you picked up 10 items! The room looks better already. Let’s do some more!” (Given with a high five or a hug)
Then you can give the next instruction. It’s a good idea to have the first few instructions make a big difference in the room, so that they can see how quickly they are making progress. Don’t skip this praise step it is CRUCIAL. They will get a lot more motivated by your excitement about their progress than about seeing the room look cleaner.
Add an incentive for a job well done
Some may have a problem with this step. After all you shouldn’t bribe your child to do chores right? Well, if you think about it, incentives are used all the time in our society and as long as you follow some basic rules, I think they are not only very appropriate, but very effective.
Rule #1 – The child must value the incentive for it to work. (I know it’s obvious!)
Rule #2 – The incentive matches the task at hand and your budget.
Rule #3 – The best incentives involve activities or something that will get “used up” fairly quickly
Rule #4 – Incentives should NOT be removed for bad behavior (Once earned it’s yours)
I can probably write another whole newsletter on incentives, but hopefully this is enough to get you started!
Okay, now go get those bedrooms sparkling!
Taking Time for SELF CARE
If you are like most parents, you probably focus outside yourself--on your children, your partner, or your job. You may find that spending even a few minutes each day focusing on yourself can pay big rewards in terms of how you feel and how you deal with the stresses of life. In this part of the newsletter, I will give you an idea to try out. Just give it a try for a couple of weeks and see if it’s helpful.
In her book, The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron recommends a journal exercise that she calls Morning Pages. In fact, they don’t have to be done in the morning, but I have found that by doing them in the morning, my whole day goes better.
All you do is spend 20 minutes with a pad of paper writing down whatever thoughts come into your mind. Your first sentence might be something like, “I don’t know what to write.” That’s okay, just keep writing whatever comes. You will find yourself writing down things you worry about, things you wonder about, problems, or anything else that floats through your mind.
After 20 minutes, you may find that any negative thoughts are transforming into interesting ideas or even epiphanies about how to think about something differently.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes. :)
Calm the Chaos Parent Coaching
Are you struggling with Chaos at Home?
Now that Summer is upon us, it might be a great time to work on some of those challenges that you put off during the stresses of the school year. Calm the Chaos Parent Coaching provides you with the support you need to make lasting changes. Check out the details here. http://www.counselingformoms.com/parentcoaching.htm
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Calm the Chaos Newsletter
This Newsletter is copyright (c)2007 Karen DeBolt, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint in any newsletter, website, or print journal. Please send me a copy and include the following attribution:
"Calm the Chaos Newsletter article (c)2007 Karen DeBolt, MA.
All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with permission. Helping families
Struggling with Chaos at home to have happy, successful children. Sign up for the newsletter at http://www.counselingformoms.com and receive a copy of the free report, ‘Conquering Bad Behavior Without Stress.’"
I send out an extra email now and then detailing programs and offers.
Karen DeBolt, MA. Parent Coach and Family Therapist
Struggling with Chaos at home and want happy successful children? Download our free report, “How to conquer bad behavior without stress.” http://www.counselingformoms.com/docs/specificpraise.pdf
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