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    • When talking behind your kids back is a great thing to do
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When talking behind your kid's back is a great thing to do

We’ve all done it. Complained about our kids on the phone then hung up the phone only to realize that your little one has bigger ears than you’d realized! Kids do listen intently to what we are saying about them to other people. It’s a no brainer to say, “Hey, don’t say negative things about your kids to other people when they are apt to be able to hear you.”

Keeping it positive

On the other hand, it might not be quite so obvious that saying positive things to other people about your kids is an EXELLENT idea! Imagine it for a moment, you and your husband are talking over dinner and you casually say, “Honey, Johnny did such a great job picking up his room today. I only had to remind him a couple of times and his whole room is clean!” Your husband says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!” Believe me Johnny is going to be listening and taking notes!

On the telephone

Another good opportunity is when you are talking on the telephone. You think that your junior higher is glued to her iPod, but just say her name to your friend on the phone, and she will be all ears.

Talk a little more animatedly than usual—show how excited you are about her good behavior. Leave the criticisms and back handed compliments out of it. This is an opportunity to let your child know what behaviors you value as well as how you feel about her. Make the most of this opportunity.

Be positive!

Even kids who roll their eyes at you when you praise them directly will hear it loud and clear when you say it to someone else. As an added benefit that other person will also get into the act with you and show their admiration loud and clear.

So go ahead and talk about them—just keep it good!

All the best,

Karen DeBolt, MA

Calm the Chaos Parent Coaching

Are you struggling with Chaos at Home?

Now that Summer is upon us, it might be a great time to work on some of those challenges that you put off during the stresses of the school year. Calm the Chaos Parent Coaching provides you with the support you need to make lasting changes. Check out the details here.

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Calm the Chaos Newsletter

This Newsletter is copyright (c)2007 Karen DeBolt, all rights reserved. You may freely reprint in any newsletter, website, or print journal. Please send me a copy and include the following attribution:

"Calm the Chaos Newsletter article (c)2007 Karen DeBolt, MA.
All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with permission. Helping families
Struggling with Chaos at home to have happy, successful children. Sign up for the newsletter at and receive a copy of the free report, ‘Conquering Bad Behavior Without Stress.’"

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Karen DeBolt, MA. Parent Coach and Family Therapist
Struggling with Chaos at home and want happy successful children? Download our free report, “How to conquer bad behavior without stress.”
5234 NE Farmcrest St., Hillsboro, OR. 97124



Copyright 2010 Karen DeBolt, MA All Rights Reserved
5234 NE Farmcrest St., Hillsboro, OR 97124 * 503-459-2073 * Email

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